Snow Day 06

Today was wonderful...like a slippery slope of fun. I woke up happy cuz i actually managed to get out of bed at 6:30! Didn't even snooze once...took a look outside and got excited. I felt like i was at home again. There was snow everywhere...i love it and missed it so much. After i got over the fact that i was wrong and that it did snow....it started feeling like christmas i got all excited and giddy....then there was the news that there were NO CLASSES! Yay no Chem. So of course some snow fighting was mandatory. It was so nice to go outside today in the blizzard as a wing and just have fun! I waas glad to see the hidden smiles appear for at least a day. I f only it didnt take a complete shutdown of alverno for this to happen but i can't complain. I still can't believe we had a snow day...crazy stuff. I miss snow...and it makes me miss home even though my family can be disappointing and a downer i still miss it. I miss my family and my life i have when i am home. However I like what i have now as well. So much has changed since i moved out here....new friends...new experiances....new haircuts(pretty much every week) new stories, and new triumphs and tears. It is crazy that all of this has happened in...what has it been like three months. I thought i knew how i would handle all of this but i was...dare i say it ...wrong. I never would have guessed that i would meet someone who i could talk to about everything...yeah...i dont know what i would do with out my dearest bud....winter break will be hard. So many heart to hearts! So much laughter and crazy-ness! Then there are the toxic people who i can't really talk to anymore, I never thought that would happen. Then there are the people who i am so confused about...kinda reminds me of a song. I never know what to expect from these people...each day seems to be different...particularly the silenced mornings and wildness later on. I have learned so much from the people i have met here...I think more than i do in my classes...who woulda thunk. It is kind of funny that when i am home in GR I miss my family in AH but when i am here i miss my family(my animals and my buckethead, KT K and my p.h) in GR. Ugh if only both worlds could merge. That would be interesting...i wounder what each side would think of the other. I t is wierd how latley i have been feeling like i am back in MN before i open my eyes in the morning and i see my college life. MAN! I am in a weird mood! I was just planning on typing about the snow day but hey what the heck i will just throw in the rest of my life as well.

"Believe the news im gone for good call off the search...

So yesterday i was at thanksgiving at my Grandma's and went with the best expectations for the day. All seemed to be going good until i started being ignored and pushed off to the side. Other peoples stars started to shine as mine faded away. Yay me. I love how my family treats me like i am insignificant and my opinions dont matter just because they are different from other peoples. I always feel so low when i am around them. So after several hours of trying to deal with this i went into my room at my Grandmas house and started to get out my pajamas and was rearranging my stuff in my suitcase and i just brokedown and cried silently on the floor just a couple feet away from my family and nobody even noticed. So I thought that i just wanted to go back to school and be with those people then i thought who can i call and talk to about this? Hmmm.. NOBODY! I relized that everyone was going to be having a grand old time with their families. Now i really don't know where i wanna go..since no where seems to be a good option where I will be happy. I will just runaway with all my animals and be away from people.
The one thing that really got me was when i found out the plans that my brother was coming home with his girlfriend and her kid for christmas. He then plans on moving back in January and my dad is driving out to get him. This kinda seems like a big deal that he is coming back to Mn. I didn't even find this out from my parents or my brother i found out from another source. Oh then i found out that my dad totalled the car. Yeah nothing is going on at home huh? Nobody tells me these things so why should i tell them things.

What do others see me as?

This is awesome. It is 2:03 in the morning and I have to get up in three hours but I can’t fall asleep. My teeth hurt. My eye feels like I got punched in the head. It doesn’t help that I can’t stop thinking about things that happened to me today that really pissed me off. I hate this feeling of people making me feel like crap. I am trying to be there for everyone when sometimes I need to step away and be there for myself. I am not doing so well but I try not to say anything so I don’t bring certain people down. Then again I also feel like others I tell too much and need to keep more to myself. I don’t know what the deal is with a certain person. I don’t understand why she thinks everything is about her and revolves around her. I really hope that nobody ever feels that way about me. I don’t want to be a stupid, superficial, stuck-up ass who only cares about herself. I want to be the person people feel comfortable around and can confide in. I don’t want to ever judge people for what they say. Instead I hope to stay the way I openly chat with people and help them as much as possible. I need to get out of here. I need to find a new place that I can get away since my room is not safe anymore. Why do people…ok a certain person….always invade my space at the wrong time. Ugh! I feel like I am venting all the time. I hate this about myself. I wish I could stop. People probably mention this behind my back. Well, I suppose this is better than being told you blow your friends off. Sure I am spacey at times and will forget things easily or I will change my mind at the last moment but it isn’t intentional. I just don’t know how to say that I don’t want to do things with them. I am trying to work on speaking my mind and avoiding blowing people off. I need to work on being more aware of these things. Obviously I am still working on things since there are so many things I want to change.

Ich Bin Schlect

What is up with me lately I feel so dead inside. I am treating people like crap who i really care about. I also am feeling neglected lately maybe it is because i am treating people so badly. I never want to face people anymore knowing that i am going to say something that i know i shouldnt. I feel as though every inch of me is bruised not wanting to move from where i am too often am i hurt or let down creating yet another bruise. I am no fun anymore all i feel like i am doing is moping and complaining and bringing people down. I am more hurtful to people than i am helpful. I can't really say that all i wanna do is go home because i dont..i just feel like being surrounded by people who wont say anything at the time but are there for me instead of being around people who want me to explain my problems to them...i just need to mope every once in a while. I have not felt this way since a couple weeks before i went home. I dont feel like i can really turn to the people i used to be able to go to. I feel like they are busy living their lives and i just need to learn to deal with my own crappy problems. Even if that does mean shutting all the blinds and hiding in my room. Obviously i cant face the world.

Depression sets in

What the fuck! Why does it hurt to breath? Why do I feel so empty inside? I have been so negative and depressed. So I realized that I am the person people go to and talk to whenever nobody else is around. So what your “attached to the hip” friend isn’t around? Now you want to be my friend? Awesome! I really feel so stupid here. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t even pass any simple assessments. I wanted to cry when the teacher was explaining “something simple”. It made me want to rip all of the shit off of my walls and hide from the world. Why the hell do I always feel this way? Fucking depression! I will just put on a big ass smile and everyone will be happy but me.

Pickles

Well so surprise once again when I express interest in someone, Anne likes to swoop in and take over for the third time. I love how she knew I had an interest in him because I told her. That must have been her sign to swoop in and show off. I don’t know about her sometimes. When I think about the issue she seems to be a toxic friend. Whatever. Maybe I am being childish but it doesn’t seem right to brag to someone that you got the person you expressed interest ins number. How high school I that? Ugh! Why do I always over evaluate peoples actions then I become depressed when I am not even positive of the situation.

Procrastination

Why oh why do I procrastinate so much? Lately it seems like I have been worrying more about being a social butterfly and keeping everyone happy but kind of neglecting myself and majorly….my homework. I need to just close my door and keep it completely silent so I can work. Ugh! Distractions suck horribly! I mean, I love the people close to me but I always want to talk to them. Its been nice that lately I have been able to become closer to a friend but I wonder if this is because another person has not been around. I hope that’s not how it is this time. This has happened too often to me. (AKA Sarah, Jess, Jessica, Caylin, Karen, Jake…oh dear should I go on?) I wonder if it’s my fault. Probably. I am the common denominator in all of this. What the hell is wrong with me?

Steppin

I am so glad that as I stepped out of my comfort zone to make friends I still am the one ending up with the short end of the stick. It seems like everything is going downhill lately and the people who are thought of as my friend s are turning out to be two faced and are really getting on my nerves. At least when all of this is going on I am starting to connect with a new friend. It is scary how similar we are to one another.

Whoa College!

You know in all my other blogs i talked about how i was looking forward to moving to college but i dont know about that anymore. I am really missing my friends..you know who you are. I feel really cut off and alone. Everyone here has friends that they can go and visit on the weekend but since mine are ten hours away i dont really have that option plus i dont have a car so i am stuck....huh...frustration. I always feel alone and bored since i dont have anythng to do.

Oh you are such a potato

Yeah so I just love when I am ignored and forgot about...then when I am mad from it I am asked "oh whats wrong...why aren't you talking ...?" Why am I not talking? Cuz I want to hit you with a potato that's why! Jeesh the nerve of some people. I bet if I would not have ran over there they would have just left without me bitches yo
I should have just stayed home and done my homework so i wouldn't be up at one eating cold leftovers....but then i wouldn't have met the hottie named eric at pizza shuttle....ah sexiness....to bad he isnt single.....jeesh ...i dont know why they were laughing when i was talking to him they were just jealous.. :)
Anywho... i really miss going to church and being a good person..not one who drinks, smokes, watches porn, cusses, and does bad in school. Where am i? I hate peer presure and giving in.....oh dear...college is bad for that reason. I feel dirty and wrong i hate this...

Poof

Fuck! Today sucked ass. I really am fed up with people. Why do people have to be so retarded? Why do i always have to forget to be responsible and do my work? I HATE IT YO! School is so fun reading 120 pages in one night.

Almost 18!

Yay! Only nine days till I am 18! I can't wait....i have fun things planned for the future. I have to work on my birthday so it will be pretty darn awesome cleaning up after other people...sigh. Anywho now that i am old enough i want to do all the things that i can legally do...you know pick up some new habits..smoking....gambling....talking on my cell while driving....yeah thats something to look forward to.
So ever since I graduated i have been super busy going to work everyday then on my days off i always have stuff going on so i am traveling from here to there...I kind of like being this busy except the past couple day work has drivin me insane making me scream with anger..gotta love the slow people who make my day crappy.
Oh last weekend it was pretty sweet i went to Wisconson and had a college visit in Milwaukee at Alverno and met some future classmates....it was so weird that in less than two months i wil be going to college there....crazy!

Such a Busy Summer!

Wow! I cannot believe that it has been so long since my last blog! I have done so much since then....i "swam"....graduated.....got a job...went to grad parties...tie-dyed.....scrapbooked...cleaned....worked....ate....went to a bon fire.....went to movies...slept (only a lil' though).....watched movies....made new friends...made an enemy...nearly got fired....laughed (a lot).........swam (almost everyday)......hot tubbed....got prepared for grad party...and other stuff too. It has been a fun couple weeks of summer. I can't beleive that college move in date is coming up so quick. Fun Fun! One thing that i wish i had done these past couple weeks is get in contact with my luuuve<)..such a foxy man need to talk to him....oh but how.....anywho well i hope everyone else is having a great summer too...stay in contact...i miss you tear tear...drop me a line...buh bye

Graduation

Lately I have felt so depressed. I really hated how on Friday when I graduated it felt like no big deal. KT K or Rebecca didn’t even go. Here I thought they were my good friends and they didn’t even go to see me get my diploma. I hated looking around and seeing everyone and their support circles. I had my parents, grandparents, and LuLu there but nobody else. Why couldn’t my aunts and uncles make it or my friends? I obviously am not that important to them I love how the Mikkelsons were 45 minutes away and they didn’t even come. Then last night was Karen's grad party and I really didn’t want to go because I knew she would be fawning over Miranda all night. I was right. Whenever Karen would talk to me she would say I was her best friend. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes in my mind. Then Miranda would come over and butt into the conversation. I didn’t even have fun. It was such a waste of four hours. I just spent it alone. I wrote a super long comment in her book and now I feel stupid since I don’t feel that way. Whatever. So on the last day of school I skipped the whole day…..practiced Elijah rock….cried when Stubbs said goodbye…then later found out it was for forever. After that Jill, Erin, Missy, Casey, other random girls and I went out to lunch at the Ground Round where I spent the majority of the time in the bathroom with a bloody nose. Then we all went to grad practice and we were all late so we ended up sitting in the very back of our class. I was so pissed off that we got stuck in the back. Then after graduation we went swimming which was a disaster itself….nobody ended up going since people just disappeared. However Miranda Karen and I went I we ended up skinny dipping behind the school in the middle of the day. After swimming I went home and took a shower then went over to Erin’s to get ready. We went to graduation together and felt ugly fat and alone. A couple horrible pictures were taken then I hung out with Erin till we went to Missy’s for a bon fire which ended up being extremely awkward. The next day I had to work when I got done I went to 5 grad parties from 3-8 and then went swimming at Tim and Geraldine’s where we ended up skinny dipping again. I was pissed off because Miranda was hanging on Karen and KT didn’t even swim. Then Em just ended up going back in. I really hate how nobody can or is coming to my grad party. It’s so depressing. The people I want there most wont even be there….it sure shows how important I am to them.

Prom

Today is Thursday and last weekend was prom! I cannot believe it is over already! The night went by so fast. I wish I would have savored the moment more and I really wish I would have danced with Cody and Bob…oh boy that would have been awesome. So prom was fun and all with Shawna and me dancing then Jake always running off to dance around with his scovey friends. Ugh I cannot believe I only danced alone with my date Jake for one song. It was oddly what’s left of me by Nick Lachey. The crappiest music was played at prom. It was ridiculous. So the whole night was spent trying to find a party and we were too lame to get invited to one so we made out own and had it at my house. I pissed my pants I was laughing so hard. Jake, Shawna, Kalana, Karen, Miranda, and I sat around a fire laughing and drinking at how stupid Shawna is. I love how post prom was so lame so we ended up making our own party. That night I didn’t end up getting to bed until four in the morning. Then woke up at noon the next day and went to Duluth. I was so hung over all day in Duluth.

New C.D'S!

Hey Hey Hey! What is up my readers?
So today i bought some pretty sweet C.D's..six to be exact and it cost me a whopping 50 bucks! I can not beleive i spent so darn much! It better be worth it..thats all i gotta say! I dont even know what some of them sound like....but yeah. Anywho
So on Saturday it was prom and i danced my lil' heart out and laughed so much! I am glad that Shawna went it made the experiance so much better! We looked so darn hot in our lil' flashing tiaras those skinny bitches were jealous and i know it. I cannot wait to see the pics on the internet..they were at prom and they were hilarious! Except for the last one where i looked like a beached whale..hahaha but a hot one. I can't beleive that psycho girl who was trying to pick a fight with me....i don't even talk to her...so i don't understand what her deal is...she was just jealous. I wish i would have picked her up and threw her across the room that would have been hilarious! I refrained myself though..i am too good. So after prom we went to post prom and it was the lamest thing so we totally had our own post partay! it was awesome....good times.
Well i have to go and listen to some c.d's now buh bye

Lawooo

dod! hahaha i am in a funny mood i am laughing at the dumbest things. aaah did i hear lightning..hahaha i mean thunder! if i did i should probably get off the computer it would be just my luck to die from electrcution from my computer..that would so not be fair i would want to kill it first i would get so much happiness outta smashing this thing it makes me so angry sometimes..i mean who does it think it is frezzing up on me like that ....that would be so ironic if it happened when i was typing..haha....oooh "r dawg" i get butterflies thinkin about that... he is so freaking hot...oh babay i love nerdy kinda people..oh goodness hopefully ..nah that could not happen. Anywhoooooo these thunnnnndaaaaa storms make me feel so crazy..yeah i am blaming it on that...it is how i get when i chug a nice refreshing pint of past with some glitter in it from the previous days craft....haha i wonder why i cant get a date i am too insane ..but hey if i am happy that is all tha matters....i can just go to the crazy house and find one..that would be so sad if someone actually did that..now that would definatly be a sign of despiration..going out with somebody who lick the side of you face and says it tastes like unicorn..then again if they eat paste it would be a match made in heaven. Well i would have to say that this picture is hahaahah oh boy ..ok i am gonna stop now ..bye

Another Road Trip

Well today I just got back from a college visit all the way in Milwaukee...and even though the 12 hr ride was quite boring the visit was fun. I actually know what to expect now that i have been there. The classes are going to be great since they are graded a lot on your performance and discusion and stuff so that is pretty cool. It is way better than if i were to go to BSU like I was planning on before. This school, though it is more expensive, will fit better with the way that i learn. I would rather go to an expensive college and pass rather than flunk out of a cheap one. Oh another thing is that i found out it is a big deal that i made it in. I just thought all that stuff i did was normal but i guess not.....weird

anywho i am tired so i bid ye farewell

Whirlwind

I am really on a whirlwind adventure this month. I am so busy it is insane. I seriously am living out of a suitcase. I am getting so behind in school that i am getting worried about graduating. There are so many things that i need to get done but i am not motivated enough.
Oh boy senoritis really sucks. I hate being a procrastinater it is not cool at all. I wish that i could have the dedication and motive that so many of my friends have...instead i am just slacking in school and have nothing really to show for it but the knowledge of a Glamour magazine. How am i going to suceed in College if high school is getting the best of me. I am doubting if i will even be able to make it after high school. I want to come back to a reunion with college done and having a great succesful job but i am doubting that that will happen.
Is this a version of cold feet the school edition? I sure hope this is only a weird funk that i am in and that i will come through it. Oh boy do i need some motivation.
At least on Saturday i will get an idea of what college life is like since i am going to a college visit. It will be so fun. I am excited but scared all at once it is an awesome experiance.
Now i am thinking about college more and i am thinking about how hard it was not seeing my friends for a couple weeks now it is going to be months......sad :( I am going to miss my peeps. Hopefully we can still chat over the phone or something even though i kinda hate doing that.

On a better note today was so fun I got to pick out the flowers for prom. It was so funny i was flipping through the book of examples and the lady that was helping us was saying hot a lot. It was hilarious. She would be like.."Oh orchads would be so hot and exotic just like you..oh so hot!" It was the funniest thing then i was like ..."It is hot how you are using the word hot" Man i guess you had to be there. That lady was awesome!
I can not beleive i am even going. I figured hey it is my final year here and i know that i will regret it if i dont do it so.....I am going. I have a dress, a date and some darn sassy jewlery now all I need is a pair of shoes and a clutch and i will be good to go. I think that it will be a lot of fun so i am excited!! yay clap clap clap...hahaha.

I'm Baaaack!

So if you didn't know the past week i was on a little journey. I was headed to New York for a choir competition with a few stops in between. We first stopped in Duluth for an exchange concert, then we went to Chicago and went to a museum ate some pizza and did a clinical, then we got back on the bus and headed for Pennsilvania and spent the night, then the next day... It was so fun I laughed a lot...so much that i had rock hard abs..j/k. I loved New York so much!! There were so many things to do! I wish i could of explored them more instead of rushing from place to place...but you know I made the best of it.
Of course the trip wasn't all peaches and cream there were times when i wanted to shoot myself because people were so stupid and were really getting on my nerves. I also was suprised that i got to know some people better..some for the good and some for the bad....ecspecially the psyco who i made the mistake of rooming with. She was so insane!
Anywho so yesterday morning we got back and i woke up off the floor of the bus with a cheeto stuck to my face, an earring missing, and a pain in my back. (i think i got stepped on a couple of times) It was a real rough night what can i say. Once i woke up i got all my crap together and went home. Once i got home i went in and out of a comatic state. I kept telling myself i wasnt even tired then four hours later i would wake up. This went on from 9-6 at night. I tell you i am a real party animal.
So yeah...i had to write about this since it was the most exciting thing that has happened latley...what can i say i have no life and i like to write about it to often...wooo

Haha Bye Carrie!!! Oh that was so funny i hope he didnt feel akward about that. He should of felt the love..what? i am too tired to type....ha ah so funny

Moving TIme is Soon Approaching!

Oh boy! I am so happy kind a tired, but happy.
So where has this year gone? That's what I wanna know! I cannot believe we are already in the fourth semester, just one more quarter till graduation..tear tear! It will be so sad moving away from everybody! Then I will have to wait until the ten year reunion to see people. I cant wait to see where people end up. I know some will be in jail, some will be extremely successful and others...well i dont know about them. I hope that everybody succeds in life except for the select few who have made mine miserable...you can just be not so succesful. I hope that the people who were treated like crap by the "preps" end up rubbing their success in those peoples faces. It would be ironic but hilarious!

Oh Boy

I cannot belive that I was called a kindergartner today! Psssh just becuase i hate to be the bigger person! So what. I hate always having to tell people how they make me feel, why can't people confront me? Uh people can be so silly.
Oh so here is the latest scoop on that whole "him" thing, today, and yesterday too, people have been telling me that "he" misses me! How special! All i want is our friendship back and to make sweet love...just kidding that is horrible that is not how i roll. Anywho I have to live up this whole being a high schooler thing as long as i can because soon i will be moving on and have to act semi mature...psssh whatever. I wish things could go back to the way they were. I miss those times so much he could always make me laugh and feel comfortable being stupid. AH! Hopefully we can get over this in the next two weeks... i think it can happen just as long as that stupid whore isn't around. Wow that was mean.
Oh and another update on that other "thing" from the other blog...I am so over it now...that person is dead to me..sorry i gave ya a chance..i am cutting the artery..or however she used that analogy..i am not too good with those.
Well i have to get some sorta sleep now so i can deal with him tommorow...ha ha aha..i am such a loser...but i love it.

So yesterday...

So yesterday was so funny.
KT and I took a roadtrip down to Brainerd to visit my Grandparents. It was so fun we were real tourists, stopping at the big fish in Garrison. We got there and of course my grandma has a feast made....well I guess it wasn't really that much but still.Grandmas always have a huge feast prepared whenever you go and visit them. You could never go hungry. Then we left their house and ventured in the huge town that is Brainerd. Of course we got lost and I called my mom and she was giving me direction but made me even more lost..ugh. So then I kinda ignored her and went my own way and we ended up at Kohls..which was our destination. So i bought the huge frame that my Grandma wanted, then we ventured home. We didn't know if we were on the right road to get back home so I stopped got gas and asked for directions. The lady was like well here is a map it is kinda confusing so you better pay attention closely. So we got the directions and found out that all we had to do was turn left out of the driveway then we were back on our way. It was not confusing at all i think that lady might of been stupid or something. So we got back on our way and we were chatting then we drove through Deerwood so I had to stop and take a picture with the huge deer since we took one with the big fish earlier. It was funny because we stopped just for this picture at ten at night.

Hot Mama Altos Unite

I am a hot mama alto! Yay me! I think that is so funny how that is what Stubbs calls us.
Anywho....this is gonna sound so dumb but..... today at lunch there were some fools who decided that they were so much better than the rest of the world and cut in the lunch line. I was so mad so I yelled at them in my hot mama alto voice to go to the back of the line and they listened! It was hilarious! He was so embaressed to...ahh it still cracks me up. I regulate the lunch line one punk at a time................see I told you, that was so high school.
Lets see what else happened to me..oh I was at M&H and there was this brown beat up car in front of me that decided to fill up their tank then just drive away! It was so sad...especially since gas was 2.50 a gallon and they got away with like fifty or fourty dollars worth...people are so mean..how could you do that..why do you have a car if you cant even pay for it........do they not relize that that is a major fine! I hope they get caught!
So I am looking forward to April! I am going to be traveling all over the place. First a road trip to New York, (stopping at all the places in between) then right when I get back I will be going to Wisconson for a college visit, then when I get back I have to watch my cousins, then I leave for Arizona for "college visits". So the whole monthI will be living out of a suitcase. It is gonna be awesome..what am I gonna wear?
Oh I know i may have said that I was over "him" but I am not. Why is he so darn special taking up my thoughts? Jeesh I know he is a major flirt and it would never work out but still it just wouldn't work out. Tear Tear..I NEED to move on..maybe to that hottie from choir...Ha Ha...yeah that would work out so well since most of the males in that choir's egos are so inflamed.

ohh fudgesickles and tunes

I really love fudgesickles! Ha ha they are so darn good!
So I am just chilling here reading some crap on the bird flu (I think I have it I have been clucking lately..j/k) I am researching for a project. It is so fun.
I am also listening to a C.D I burned from Karen. It is so darn sweet! Very mellow but great.
So yeah lately I have been opening up my feelings to other people a lot and it is so weird since I normally keep everything inside. It feels kind of good to talk but it also opens up old wounds too....I don't know what to feel. I guess I have really only talked to three or four people about stuff so it isn't that much.
Right now however I am feeling preeeetty good and nobody better mess it up for me since it has been a while since I have felt happy.
Is is really crazy that when somebody told me that "he" was sad that I wasn't talking to him I was really happy? Am I evil? Oh dear something else to look forward to.
So does anybody even read these lil' blurbs that I write? I don't care but I am curious. Maybe I am too boring to even keep someone's attention. Oh well. I guess if I really wanted to get some attention I could tell all the secrets I know but that would be waaaaaaaaaaay to mean. That is not how i roll.
So I am really looking forward to going and visting Alverno! It will just be fun to see my future home for four years. I don't know how i am going to handle that. I mean being away from my little puparoo Chloe! How depressing! Lately though there are some people who have abondoned me and who I won't really miss. Pssh whatever to y'all..Ha ha I think that is so funny how I will randomly change my voice into an accent.
Boys are so stupid! They are so dumb they don't even know what they want. They say that girls are flirty! Ha i know a couple of guys who are reallly big flirts.
Anywho... I gotta go and do other things thanks for reading.

well you will have to read

MEOW!!! HA HA HA HA!
I cannot belive how crazy I feel!
Oh and that little other thing how I completly avoided saying something about how pissed off I was to somebody... but hey, whatever, I am never sad or hurt by anything that anyone ever says to me or that anyone ever does. I am alway happy! Ha ha. I love how like(ok now i guess i am a valley girl) I have been "Oh I am so gonna talk about it the next time i have a chance!" But noooo. Stupid me!!! Fine I'll just say it now: You make me angry...garrr! You probably dont know who I am talking about but whatever.....you can figure it out. If you talk to me I have been ranting about it forever..well I guess not forever..just like a couple days...ha ...yeah you! Lol.
Um I don't even know who you are anymore..nobody does..we're scared in our crocs'...ha ha...ah I am so confusing I don't even remember what is going on....ok then. Two blogs in one night woo! I am crazy..wow ok sorry for making people confused. Just try and decipher...k-do0g knows what I mean. oh boy.
k night! luv ya too!

Something to think about

"oooh ooh witchy woman see how high she fliiiies!"
So today was fun! I got to encounter a lot of witches. Ha ha yeah anyways today people were being really evil and were making me mad but i got over it. I took a nap and i am good now.
So isn't it funny how girls will ask you something like "Can I have xyz?" and they won't back down until they get it. Lately I have been noticing this. Like a girl asked me to do something and I said no then she was like begging me and I was like: "I thought I was being asked so I don't have to do it if i dont want to. It wasn't a command." Then i started thinking, and I, a lot of the times, would do the same thing. It is so weird how hypocritical i can be. Later on though i will look back and be like oh snap I do the same thing. So I guess what I am saying is think before you critizise someone because you may relize that you do the same thing...you just may not relize it.

We made it to state!

So the boy's hockey team made it to state, that is so sweet! It has been like fifteen years or somethin. We won against Roseau, then we beat Hill Murray, then last night we played Cretin and lost 0 to 7. That is ok though..we still made second! That is so cool. I just got back from the cities not too long ago and i feel really sick. I was yelling so much that i really did make myself sick. ha ha. I was down there for all three of the games, i left on thursday, with Erin. We had so much fun except for the last night when we both got sick but you know how i roll it is all good.
Now once i got home i have to unpack all my crap i have to clean my room, do the dishes, do the laundry, do all my math and english homework, fill out scholarships, file my taxes, and i have to fill out all kinds of stuff for Alverno....all by tommorow! That is when my parents said i have to have it done by..or i can't drive. So i dont care and i am not gonna do it fuck them i dont even know what to do for some of this stuff. I have too many fuckin questions.

whoa i feel really weird right now

Wow! right now I feel so weird! I a m really dizzy and i feel sick. I have no idea why i am like shakin'. I really feel like crap right now and i have been treated like it lately too. Who do people think they are..pssh whatever i am no toy that you can bring out and "play with" whenever you find it best. Right now i am really overwhelmed, i know i have so many things i need to do but i just cant get motivated to do them. I have so much homework to make-up, scholarships to fill out, job applications to complete, college apps, i have about a jazillion tests i need to prepare for, plus there is all kinds of stuff i am expected to do at home, oh and then of course i have to trry and spend time with people so they dont all hate me...it is really overwhelming. I do relize that it isnt as bad as it could be but still it is frustrating. It just gets even worse when something else (new and exciting..or not so much) is thrown in there. I wish i could say that i was looking forward to it being over soon but i know it wont i know i will always have stuff like this to do. I wont really even have a break in the summer since i am going to get my NA. So there goes three weeks of fun. Oh then my mom told me that i am going to have to get three jobs this summer since i have so many things to pay off. Life is just fabulous. People also are great especially when they start to ignore you but then... when nobody is around they wanna be all close and intamate. So am i just supposed to forget that you were all over someone else then when they leave you are there..pshh whatever. I am so tired of crap like that but sadly i cant let go.