What do others see me as?

This is awesome. It is 2:03 in the morning and I have to get up in three hours but I can’t fall asleep. My teeth hurt. My eye feels like I got punched in the head. It doesn’t help that I can’t stop thinking about things that happened to me today that really pissed me off. I hate this feeling of people making me feel like crap. I am trying to be there for everyone when sometimes I need to step away and be there for myself. I am not doing so well but I try not to say anything so I don’t bring certain people down. Then again I also feel like others I tell too much and need to keep more to myself. I don’t know what the deal is with a certain person. I don’t understand why she thinks everything is about her and revolves around her. I really hope that nobody ever feels that way about me. I don’t want to be a stupid, superficial, stuck-up ass who only cares about herself. I want to be the person people feel comfortable around and can confide in. I don’t want to ever judge people for what they say. Instead I hope to stay the way I openly chat with people and help them as much as possible. I need to get out of here. I need to find a new place that I can get away since my room is not safe anymore. Why do people…ok a certain person….always invade my space at the wrong time. Ugh! I feel like I am venting all the time. I hate this about myself. I wish I could stop. People probably mention this behind my back. Well, I suppose this is better than being told you blow your friends off. Sure I am spacey at times and will forget things easily or I will change my mind at the last moment but it isn’t intentional. I just don’t know how to say that I don’t want to do things with them. I am trying to work on speaking my mind and avoiding blowing people off. I need to work on being more aware of these things. Obviously I am still working on things since there are so many things I want to change.