This summer has proven to be one of the hardest because it is the first I am truely on my own. After living with my parents for so many years, I finally decided that it was time to move on and move out. Sure, I had lived in the dorms for three years, but, I had moved home every three months. After a rocky school year, I made the decision to permanently stay in Milwaukee. After being here for so long I have finally realized this is my home and I need to make it official.
So, this past May I rented a townhouse (with two roomates) and finally realized what it was like to live without the ties of a higher support system. No longer can I depend on someone else to buy my food, do my laundry and pay my bills. Instead, I am learning the joys of living paycheck to paycheck in order to make rent and pay off my credit card. Suprisingly, I am enjoying the new responsibility and independance. Although it is frustrating being hungry and tired ,and not being able to force someone else make me a meal, I know it's worth it. Not only have I become financially independant, but emotionally as well. Instead of running to other people when something goes wrong, I have forced myself to deal with it.
These past couple weeks have been extremely hard for me. It seems like bad news is coming around every corner. Beacause of this, I have found myself moping around the house, crying my eyes out every chance I get. The worst part is that I am making a big deal out of events that I cannot change. For awhile I have been trying to push off these problems on my friends only to overwhelm and frustrate them more. So. I have made the decision to take a break from the world and have a stay-cation, cutting off all ties. At this point I need to work on finding an inner peace and balance to my life and then slowly work everything back in. It is frustrating thinking that I feel like I always have to start over but what else is there?
