Empathy

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony." Thomas Merton
"Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away."
I pride myself on being empathetic, but recently it has proved itself to be beneficial and detrimental. In the past couple weeks, I have felt as though I am diffusing; parts of me going every which way. I try to make myself obtainable with the intentions to help friends and family, however, people have been taking advantage of my availability. I take on their tasks without objections even though I may have other priorities at the time. Part of the reason is because I find gratification when I can successfully help solve a problem. When things don't work, I take it upon myself to try and fix the problem even if it is too big of a task. This has resulted in me neglecting my own needs. I feel drained.
All of this has been on my mind, so, I have been separating myself from people in order to fix what I need to in my own life. Please don't take my actions or words as signs of being pretentious when I have the sole purpose of fulfilling my own needs. I get crabby when things get in my way of doing this, which helps explain my verbal lashing out. All I really need at this point is a little time to sit and stare out my window or lay in bed reading and listening to music alone without being bombarded with questions about why I am being so lazy. (It hurts when I hear that…more than you would think.)
It just takes a couple of hours for me to calm down but I have not even been able to get that with the craziness in my life lately. I am not mad…just frustrated. Give me a second to breathe and sing at the top of my lungs and I will be back to normal in no time.