These past couple weeks have been a serious shit storm. I have been in a funk and one bad thing after another has happened. My mind has gone to a very bad, negative place. So, like I do best I got in my car and ran away for a short week. I grabbed what I thought I would need and headed in my car. For the first three hours all I couuld do is cry as bad things continued to happen. Eventually as I got lost in my music, I started getting in a better mood.
I drove and drove until I finnaly got to my serene place. It was so nice to wake up in a fresh enviroonment without worrying about having to make small talk with people who took a shit on my life. Even though I spent a lot of my time alone..I enjoyed it. I have not been that happy in a long time.
I had been gone for almost a week and only two of my friends had called to check up on me. The funny thing was that they didn't even know I was gone. This was just part of the routine. What really hurt is that the people that saw me everyday didnt even notice that I had been gone. Obviously there is some problem within our friendship if you feel like things wouldnt be any differently with out me.
So as long as I am once again venting to my blog...
I would just like to say:
I am hurt. I am broken. I am trying to put back together my broken pieces but it is getting harder each day when I feel as though I am wasting time on friendships that are going no where.
Each day is a struggle for me. I wake up wanting to do nothing more than hide under my covers from the world. I don't feel like talking to people unless I know that they are genuine people that are there for me. I dont ever call anybody because I always interupt their lives. I think it is bullshit that people expect me to be their "bestie" when they only talk to me through f-book or myspace. Seriously, grow a fucking pair and pick up the damn phone if you want to do something. Oh and stop telling me how fucking busy you are because obviously you have free time because I know their are other people who you can answer your phone for.
I really should stop before this gets all stupid and emo but who gives a fuck because its not like anyone reads this stupid thing anyways.
Great now I am all pissed. FUCK me.
If all of this is news to you obviously you don't know me very well because it is who I am right now.
