I think that the hardest thing for me is dealing with my problems alone. I find myself saying I am independent even though my actions show the opposite. I don’t do well over time when I am isolated. This is purely due to my thought processes that lead me to think I need other people in order to be happy. How am I going to be happy around other people if I cannot even find a way to be happy alone? Sure it is wonderful to be in the presence of other people and to engage in conversation but it is not something that is necessary every moment. It is important to find inner peace and happiness then branch out and spread those feelings to others.
Life is an interesting contradiction for me. For example: I hate change but I love changes; I love winter but hate the dreary snow; hate my family but love them since they are my family.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Year 1 over...
Finally this horrendous semester is over! I cannot wait to leave school and go home for winter break. To just pick up and leave things where they are no matter what the condition. This semester had to be the hardest so far with far too much going on me to balance it all while trying to be successful with my education. I am sick of always being in pain whether it was emotional or physical. I am now just sitting here listening to music on MySpace crying because I can relate so much to the songs. All of the emotion that I had pushed away to make it through finals week all comes crashing back at me.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Hypacrit
Why is it that whenever I start to show off my intelligence to a male I get the word I hate hearing when I think things are going in a different direction: “friend”
Normally from females if I were to hear this I would feel happiness however when this word comes from the lips of a male I have had my eye on I feel crushed. Why is it that a woman’s appearance is, now more than ever, more important than her mind? Doesn’t anyone believe in a beautiful mind anymore? I think it is unfair to be blessed with a beautiful mind but be forced into feeling like you have an ugly exterior. It is important to be accepting of who we are and look past the exterior and into ones interior.
I AM A HYPACRIT! Just look at how many pictures I have. Why not words on the wall or equations?
Normally from females if I were to hear this I would feel happiness however when this word comes from the lips of a male I have had my eye on I feel crushed. Why is it that a woman’s appearance is, now more than ever, more important than her mind? Doesn’t anyone believe in a beautiful mind anymore? I think it is unfair to be blessed with a beautiful mind but be forced into feeling like you have an ugly exterior. It is important to be accepting of who we are and look past the exterior and into ones interior.
I AM A HYPACRIT! Just look at how many pictures I have. Why not words on the wall or equations?
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